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6.17.2009

Appearing predictable to others

When our minds are functioning mechanistically, we are highly predictable to others, though not to ourselves. The telltale sign of our predictability is our negative emotions that we try to keep hidden and occasionally display. We reveal to others how our own predictions work against our best interests by how dark we're feeling. We're entertaining a variety of flawed predictions about how we will succeed with other people. We predict that:
  • we can manipulate others' impression of a situation to turn it around in our favor
  • we can control other people with their own neediness and insecurities
  • we can dominate others who appear tentative and directionless
  • we can put down others in order to get them to rely on our evaluations instead of theirs
  • we can find fault with others to make them feel guilty, apologetic or desperate for approval
  • we can intimidate others who appear uppity and out of control by reminding them who's more powerful
  • we can correct others who appear wrong, bad, stupid or sadly mistaken
We predict we will succeed at any of this. We fantasize the outcome where we win at their expense. We compensate for how dark we're feeling with these flawed predictions. We assume the situation will play out mechanistically, like the ways our minds are functioning. We don't allow for complexity, emergent innovations, evolving understandings or growing capabilities. We assume everything is the same as it ever was because our minds are stuck in a predictable pattern. When we find out our predictions are flawed, we experience a crisis. The negative emotions we're sought to escape with our imaginary successes return with a vengeance.

When we can see how others are predictable and recognize these toxic patterns, our minds are functioning organically. Our ability to formulate accurate predictions about others in mechanistic mindsets makes us unpredictable to them and ourselves. Our minds are living systems that are continually evolving. We are always in the process of changing our own predictions of what will work for us and what will make a difference to others in our lives. It's anybody's guess what we'll be exploring or how we'll be changing next.

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